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The science of modern medicine

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By Brad Bowman

I would never pretend to possess any of the sacred knowledge reserved for the inner sanctum of modern medicine.
Nor would I ever fool myself into believing I have the stamina for the pressure doctors experience on a daily basis.
I will however critique my latest doctor visit with an educated amount of violent declamation.
I recently went to the doctor for the most immense headache of my entire life. A runny nose, congestion and drainage into my scratchy throat stepped the party up a notch. I went to a doctor in Shelby County so no one please take any personal offense. In fact, I will almost not put the doctor I saw at any fault.
Wednesday I awoke debilitated and couldn’t stand bright lights or loud noises. Aging presents all kinds of new gifts along the way and Wednesday’s present was my first migraine or so I thought.
I finally made it to the doctor on Friday. Much like everything else in my life, I look to learn things and reclaim some dignity from my experience. Friday proved to be no exception.
First and foremost, once I saw the doctor I felt sorry for him. He explained he had two days off and was now paying for it with more patients than he would usually see in a week.
I immediately felt like we were speed dating. I summed up my symptoms, my occupation and family medical history in less than 15 minutes. While I talked, I felt as if I competed for his attention, as he hurriedly pecked away on an electronic pad’s screen with a stylus. He kept rifling through my symptoms with multiple-choice options as if the answer would appear in his crystal ball.
In the meantime, my headache started to worsen. I confessed I felt dizzy and apologized certain I would bottom out. I felt sorry for him. I had to be the new patient that threw a curve ball at his already hectic day.
Three prescriptions and a shot of Phenergen later — I am no better. He’s probably no better either.
Aside from my medicinal treats, I was given a handout.
Yes, a handout, which listed food, medications (some of which he prescribed me), sensory stimuli, lifestyle changes and ‘other’ things that could triggers migraines.
My hard earned insurance paid for a handout and prescriptions to some of the EXACT things on his list that could have trigger my migraine. In fact, his handheld oracle couldn’t ascertain if I truly had a migraine or was suffering from a sinus infection. A week later, the medicinal treats have dulled my brain into a dulling thump and my congestion continues to worsen.
Does anyone remember when doctors knew you and your family and actually had the time to get to know their patients? Didn’t that personal interaction and ‘knowing you’ aid in his diagnosis?
I blame the current medical business. It’s not making our medical practitioners better doctors just better at making money. In the future I imagine that cowboys that used to be doctors will herd patients to pharmaceutical dispensary troughs.
Next time, I will stay home and save my money for something more therapeutic.